Self-esteem is essentially your perception of yourself. It is your own self-value. Self-esteem includes a lot of factors like self-confidence, your identity, the feeling of competence, and a feeling of belongingness. Self-esteem is not just liking yourself, it’s believing in your worth, and giving value to your own opinions, thoughts, feelings, and interests which can be affected by your genes, where and how you grew up and the circumstances around you.
Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem is often considered a personality trait and not taken seriously. But low self-esteem can affect your thought, emotions, and behavior. Your self-esteem can not only determine how you treat yourself but also how others perceive and treat you. It can affect both your personal and professional life.
Do you often keep thoughts to yourself, due to fear of being wrong or how the other person might perceive your opinion? Do you apologize every now and then in situations where you should not be apologizing? Some people with low self-esteem talk less or negatively about themselves while others work towards pleasing the other person. In either case, a person with low self-esteem lacks personal value and worth. Here are some signs that can aware you or someone you know is struggling with low self-esteem and work towards overcoming it.
1) Problems speaking up about your needs and feelings
A person with low self-esteem struggle with speaking their thoughts out. You might convince yourself that your feeling doesn’t matter because your needs have no value or you want to avoid challenging others. You prioritize others’ needs above your own. While caring for others is a good thing, prioritizing their needs over your own can be harmful.
2) Self-doubt with every decision
You might find it hard to make a decision. Even after making a decision, you worry if you made the right one. Perhaps you doubt your opinion often and lean toward another person’s opinion instead of making your own choices. Perhaps you often find yourself second-guessing and having self-doubt.
3) Trying to please others
When you don’t have internal validation of yourself, you might seek external validation by making other people happy and comfortable. This might mean prioritizing other person’s needs above your own, buying people gifts for positive feedback, saying yes to things that you actually don’t want, or feeling guilty when you say no. You might do this just to feel recognized and increase your feeling of self-worth.
4) Trouble accepting compliments
It can be hard to accept positive feedback when they don’t align with your self-value. You may have a sense of suspicion or distrust toward these compliments. You might actually feel that the other person is joking or being cruel.
5) Negative Self-talk
Instead of positive self-talk, you tend to have negative thoughts about yourself. You might have a feeling that other people don’t accept you for who you are. You might blame yourself, your personality, or your abilities when things go wrong. This can often cultivate negative thought patterns and negative beliefs in a person and may impact your mood and mental health.
6) Fear of Failure
As a person with low self-esteem has low regard for their abilities, they tend to fear failure and avoid challenges and give up early. The fear of failure can be reflective of a person’s behaviour such as looking for ways to hide feelings, making excuses, or downplaying the importance of a task.
7) Always following others
You may tend to follow others and agree with them on what they are saying, doing, or where they are going. While a tendency to be flexible obviously is a good thing, not wanting to create your own path or do your own thing can be a sign of low self-esteem.
8) Bad perception of future
With low self-worth, one might feel hopeless about the future. You might feel you have a very bad future as you don’t value your own abilities. This can in turn makes it hard for you to engage in activities that can bring positive changes.
9) Lack of boundaries
When you don’t become vocal about your want, needs, or feeling, people may look down on you. They might not respect your time and space. You have fewer boundaries in relationships and you may be vulnerable, hurt, or angry. This might also add stress and make you feel less valued.
10) Feeling guilty for everyday action
Feeling guilty about things that you have no control over and constantly apologizing to others can be signs of low self-esteem. You might constantly feel like you are wrong or you have made a mistake when you actually have nothing to apologize for.
You can actually work towards building or strengthening your confidence. By being confident, you will increase your self-esteem and self-worth. If you would like to learn more, check out
How To Be More Confident 
